...called Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls which is filmed in Las Perlas, Panama. Anyway Montana walks out, as does Roxanne Pallett who has only just quit Celebrity Big Brother. How is it, you ask, that Rox gets from the CBB house to Panama so quickly? Well, it’s complicated so you’ll just have to trust LoveIslander on this one. In a nutshell, it’s all down to something known amongst scientists as the ’celebrity space-time continuum’. LoveIslander, bound by the Official Secrets Act, cannot say any more.
The Royal Family
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CONFUSED.COM? - Roxanne Pallet, currently ’on’ Celebrity Island 2018 is now rumoured to be in the running for ’I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’, subject to extensive psychological profiling. She was in CBB 2018 with Ryan Thomas until he didn’t punch her which led to the ’Punchgate’ scandal. He was on Celebrity Island 2017 and should pop up on Love Island 2016 any second now to meet his brother Scott Thomas who made it to the final with Kady McDermott. They stuck together on the out until late 2017. Scott’s twin brother Adam Thomas was in IACGMOOH 2016 with Ola Jordan who was in Strictly and who...
Kady McDermott
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HOT STUFF - remember the Love Island fireman challenge which featured stripping, ropes, hosepipes, fireman’s lifts and other essential firefighting techniques such as pelvic thrusting?..
Love Island
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...well, Dany Cotton, London Fire Brigade head, has pointed out that
offensive cliches such as sexualised portrayals of females being saved from danger can put off young women rom joining the fire service. Who knew LI was so...deep? Someone call Eyal.
#FirefightingSexism
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SUPERBEAUTY - Love Island sponsor Superdrug launches in-store botox and fillers service at flagship London store The Strand with a view to rolling out further clinics across the UK. Check the vid - Q. who hasn’t had a little work?
Superdrug Q+A
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C WORD - Ultimate Matchmaker Lara Asprey on Dr Alex’s fear of the c-word : ’He’s the perfect affable British chap. He’s got a fear of commitment so I’d have to find him someone who could hold their own and show him the way’. Count the sexual euphemisms - one, two, three...
Lorraine
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...however the c-word that doesn’t scare Dr Alex has four letters and starts with ’c’...yes, you’re right, he loves cars
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IMITATION - is the sincerest form of flattery. Celebrity Big Brother 2018 going for a Love Island vibe according to The Sun : ’Celebrity Big Brother is back to fill the void for reality TV addicts mourning the loss of Love Island - and the revamped house looks just like the villa’...
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...’First look inside Celebrity Big Brother’s new Love Island style house with tropical decor, pool, hot tub and funky bar’ provided by The Sun
The Sun
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SHOULDER TROLLS - surfer girl Laura Crane trolled because her shoulders deemed ’too blokey’ for Love Island : ’If I didn’t have strong arms and legs I wouldn’t be able to stand up on a surfboard and travel the world doing what I love’
Laura Crane Instagram
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WHAT NEXT, LAURA? - according to The Daily Star ’the former British champion is now embarking on a health and fitness campaign to help others trn to sport to stay fit and strong, both physically and mentally’: ’I’ve launched a YouTube channel...’
Laura Crane YouTube Channel
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LAURA Q&A - Laura Crane Q&A session early 2018, way before Love Island
Laura Crane Q&A
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FACT! - Love Island production team jargon includes the term ’dusting’ for sex : LoveIslander has no idea either but Urban Dictionary has a sex-related definition which cannot be included here for reasons of sensitivity. Second one down in case you’re curious.
Urban D 'dusting'
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SOON TO BE MRS - Olivia Buckland and Alex Bowen (3rd place, Love Island 2016) getting hitched and have collaborated on the Honeymoon Edit (clothes, what were you thinking?) with online retailer QUIZ. Caroline Flack expected to attend nuptials but did she get a ’Plus One’?
Olivia Buckland Instagram
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DUMPED - LoveIslander has already drawn your attention to the revenge pic posted by Andrew Brady after being dumped by Caroline Flack but does so again because of the perceptive analysis from Caitlin Moran, aka ‘Celebrity Watch’ in The Times, aka CW...
Andrew Brady Instagram
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...’CW doesn’t quite understand the logic of this at all, given that the shot appears to depict Brady pouring the contents of a teapot over his penis. To CW the visual message here appears to be : ’IF I CANNOT BE WITH YOU, I AM GOING TO DROWN MY WANGER IN TYPHOO’
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FAKE NEWS - ’I would like to issue a statement as I believe stories, half truths and lies have been circulated in the media by various parties and are to a large extent inaccurate’ (Andrew Brady, Caroline Flack ex)
Andrew Brady Instagram
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DR DAYTIME - word reaches LoveIslander of ITV suits lining up slots on daytime TV shows for Dr Alex. Could he be the new Dr Hilary Jones? Check out his ’steth ’n scrubs’ style. You decide.
Dr Alex George
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DR SEX - appaz big bucks on offer for Dr Alex to become Dr STI (as in ’sexually transmitted infection’ so Dr Sex is better, probs) as face of Public Health England marketing push into youth demographic to highlight risks of unsafe sex
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ALL TOGETHER NOW - Caroline Flack hosts final live show of Love Island 2018 : The Reunion
ITV2
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