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...and with the Alace non-relationship cruelly terminated...
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...doctor Alex realised that once again his only hope would be ’older woman’ Laura but her meat-eating cougar tendencies are about to be kickstarted by the arrival of two new and, crucially, younger boys...
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...unfortunately she’s not on the hit list of either newcomer but someone else definitely is...
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HARD TARGET - no sooner than JoKaz status goes boyfriend / girlfriend than the relationship comes under threat as Kaz targetted by both new boys. Is she a soft touch or will she prove to be a hard target?
Love Island YouTube
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LOYALTY ISLAND - newbie Idris Virgo says ’loyalty is key when it comes to winning his heart’ : you’ve come to the right place then, Dris, cos ’loyalty’ is a given on Love Island. Kaz his prime target with Georgia and Samira also in his scopes...
Radio Times YouTube
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...and loyalty is Georgia’s specialist subject. She can talk about it ad nauseam. Adelheid Hock msg ’I don’t want to sound so mean, but I think it’s kind of karma that both of the new boys want to go for Kaz. Josh might get a taste of his own medicine’
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KARMA KAZ - Kaz #1 target for newbie Kieran Nicholls but because he ’values loyalty in a relationship, and claims that looks aren’t high on his list of priorities’ (Radio Times) his #2 pick is...Megan, obvs
Radio Times YouTube
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BPM - aim of the game was to raise heartbeats as scientifically measured by ’beats per minute’ : the boys’ routines won but who had the best thrusts?..
Love Island YouTube
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...but the girl most successful at raising pulses was Georgia : what’s she got? what’s her secret?
Love Island YouTube
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SUNDAY BEST - La Flack models her best bath towel + spikes in hommage to Love Island : ’When you have nothing to wear for Sunday’ 👀
Caroline Flack Instagram
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MUGGY - ’Mutilated Megan is the embodiment of sadness on Love Lipo Island’ (Camilla Long, Sunday Times) : check out before and after
Top News YouTube
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’...There is only one person who snares all the men on this programme and it hasn’t anything to do with what’s on the inside...
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...She has spent, it is said, £25,000 on her face. Pictures of Megan ’before’ she dumped a ton of Botox into her shimmering epidermis surfaced last week showing a more naturally beguiling girl with glasses and a slightly bulbous nose’ : but doesn’t before Megan look rather like Camilla?
Sunday Times Video
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OLD ALEX - ’There’s a Twitter feed begging him to stay inside. He’s 90 per cent milk. Bland. People like him but then they get to know him and it’s "no"...’ (Deborah Rose, Mail on Sunday) : ’...definitely caring, a gentleman, I think I’m quite funny as well...’, yes it’s Dr Dreamboat
Love Island YouTube
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WEIRD ALEX - ’Alex is seriously weird. His stalker-like chat gives the impression of a man who wants to get his stethoscope out but doesn’t have a clue what to do with it’ (Dawn Neesom, Daily Star)
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WAS NEW ALEX - former ’new Alex’ (Alex Miller) at Incredibles 2 premiere with friend : ’Scrubbed up pretty well for the #incredibles2 premiere doncha think? She looks alright too!’
Alex Miller Instagram
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OLD / NEW - LoveIslander disappointed that the boys and girls have not taken up its solution to name duplication in the villa, for example ’OG Jack’ and ’newbie Jack’. They’e gone with ’old Jack’ and ’new Jack’. Please yourselves.
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A KISS, OR NOT A KISS - that is the question. Did Geogia kiss new Jack? Did new Jack kiss Georgia? Did they kiss each other? Did they not kiss each other? And the answer is...it’s complicated and no one seems to know for sure but there’s been a lot of discussion and drama...
Radio Times YouTube
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IT’S ALL ABOUT ME..GAN - she’s getting plenty of column inches : viz this selection of comments from Dawn Neesom in the Daily Star...
Love Island YouTube
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...’The slut-in-chief of telly’s Love Island...man-eating Meg’s serving up a feast...the evil star of the show...
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...With blokes that thick at her mercy, no wonder man-eater Meg is in her element...
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...Naturally most women hate her. But she is what she is. A predator built of silicone, botox and fillers. A Frankenstein creature created by today’s mad world...’
Radio Times YouTube
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COUPLE CULL – overcrowding crisis at villa (9 couples + 2 singletons Wes and Georgia) so someone had to go. Popularity vote by viewers left Sam + newbie Ellie, newbie Alex + Megan and Adam + Darylle as least popular couples. Wes and Georgia each chose 1 person to save by ’coupling up’...
Love Island YouTube
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...silver lining is number of duplicate names now reduced to just two Jacks - OG Jack as in Jani and newbie Jack as in Jaura but complication that Georgia saved Sam had already kissed Laura’s man Jack...
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...and Wes saved Megan who had already dumped him for newbie Alex who is now out of the picture so the big question is…who will Megan go for next?
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BOX OFFICE - ’.....right...I’m off to the villa...to sign my future son in laws canvas....lovely’. Danny Dyer tweet hints at Majorca meet with Jack and Dani : this would be bigger than the Trump / Kim Singapore summit
Danny Dyer Twitter
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HUGE HITS - record Love Island viewing figures and huge number of hits on related social media so…
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…look out for ‘The Lovers & The Liars’ villa-based competitive dating show coming soon. It’s a ‘me too’ from MTV and Towie producer Lime Pictures, btw that’s ‘me too’ in the marketing sense, not #MeToo
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BBZ - Adam getting a bit bored with...who is it now? So, in the Island’s lexicon of love, he probs needs to get grafting again. Time to bring back Zara!
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