WASSUP - new guys Idris and Kieran enter the villa and immediately hit the wrong note : listen to Jack explaining island etiquette
Love Island YouTube
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FIRST DATES - Idris selected Laura for a date, Kieran went for Georgia : first reaction from LoveIslander is that both boys ’came on a bit strong’ and could be headed for an early exit if viewers given a vote again soon
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BACK ON TRACK - Laura and Jack’s relationship back on track but Jack overthinking, epecially the dog aspect : Laura loves dogs but Jack allergic to some however Laura says he doesn’t have to think about dogs just yet but...
Love Island YouTube
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...new boy Idris is about to tell Laura the truth about Georgia and Jack’s kiss and his newbie mate Kieran is pursuing ’loyal’ Georgia
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WEGAN - thnx to Daily Star for reminding us of minxy Megan’s Love Island narrative : ’She played off Dr Alex George and Eyal Booker in the villa and also stole Wes Nelson from Laura Anderson. She then ditched him and coupled up with Alex Miller but not before kissing Dean Overson and then sneakily made moves to get back with Wes’
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MEGAN A USER - Alex Miller reckons Megan is ’a user’! Surely mistaken? Here he is on Aftersun with Adam who is now ’an Adam’
Alex Miller Instagram
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AN ADAM - fame is when your christian name becomes a byword for certain behaviour. Watch John Leslie on ’This Morning’ (at 3:10) with Holly and whatshisname saying he identified with Alex, Adam and Jack : ’I was a Dr Alex...then became an Adam overnight’...What about Jack? LoveIslander still waiting...
This Morning Youtube
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BOX OFFICE - ’.....right...I’m off to the villa...to sign my future son in laws canvas....lovely’. Danny Dyer tweet hints at Majorca meet with Jack and Dani : this would be bigger than the Trump / Kim Singapore summit
Danny Dyer Twitter
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HUGE HITS - record Love Island viewing figures and huge number of hits on related social media so…
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…look out for ‘The Lovers & The Liars’ villa-based competitive dating show coming soon. It’s a ‘me too’ from MTV and Towie producer Lime Pictures, btw that’s ‘me too’ in the marketing sense, not #MeToo
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BBZ - Adam getting a bit bored with...who is it now? So, in the Island’s lexicon of love, he probs needs to get grafting again. Time to bring back Zara!
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O ZARA, ZARA - wherefore art thou Zara? Only at the TWG Tea party in Leicester Square with Eyal! No suggestion that they are now Zeyal, just old friends from Love Island.
New TV&Showbiz
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DANNY WORSHIP - Jack worships Dani but not the poster (above his bed) of her dad from The Football Factory film in which Danny Dyer improvised the famous line ’I can’t wait to see your fanny’ : ’I thought it was horrible but girls seem to love it’ says DD. Is Jack a Danny-worshipper? Check the clip, then decide.
Breaking News YouTube
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MUM’S THE WORD - ’Which reality star should not be at all worried about what her mum thinks of her naughty behaviour on TV?’ asks the Daily Mirror...
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...’why?’ you respond, innocently. Because, according to the reliable red top, ’Mum and daughter boast of an extremely close relationship - having bonded particularly well during a threesome...’ Not one of the fragrant Love Island girls, surely? Say it ain’t so, DM!
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RLLY? Jack WRSUP (word repetition syndrome under pressure - no, Loveislander has not ’just made that up’) getting worse! Remember ’oh my god’ four times in a row at Casa Amor? Under stress from Dani / Ellie convo he cranked up ’really’ repetition to six! Go to
0:54 in the vid to watch the current record again, and again, and etc etc...
Love Island YouTube
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SHOCK HORROR - Dani convo with Jack’s ex Ellie raises possibility that he may have been a ’f***boy’ prvsly. Dani at 0:54 ’was he a bit of a f**kboy to ya?’. Ellie ’he was he a bit of a f**kboy to be fair’
LoveIsland YouTube
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DANI PRVS - to be honest, Dani’s got a bit of previous when it comes to dealing with f***boys. Check her style in ’We Still Kill The Old Way’. A firm ’Get out!’ does the trick!
Daniel Winslow YouTube
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F***BOY? - LoveIslander suggests that those of a delicate disposition refer to Urban Dictionary. Jack’s damage limitation exercise starts now!
Urban Dictionary
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RSPCC - Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Celebrities investigating heartless treatment of Dani Dyer on Love Island
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FAN FURY - over 650 complaints to Ofcom re Love Island sadistic twist in which Dani Dyer was shown a misleading video of boyfriend Jack Fincham causing widespread fan fury...
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...but, as host Caroline Flack pointed out, the show is all about ’testing relationships’
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FLACK UTTERS - there was something about Harry (exes include H Styles and Prince H) but the future Mrs Brady knew ’he was the one’ from the minute he walked in for their first date. So who has set the Flack heart aflutter?
Caroline Flack Instagram
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SIX OF THE BEST - Andrew’s stamina lasted for six tasks on The Apprentice not counting having sex with fellow contestant / candidate Anisa Topan (ten years his senior and engaged to be married) in a blatant audition for Love Island. The non-smokeblower then ditched the clean-shaven geek disguise, got some designer stubble and moved on to...
E & A TV
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...Celebrity Big Brother for a bottom wax from drag queen Courtney Act, the eventual winner, before becoming the sixth evictee
Big Brother UK
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SACK TO FLACK - incredible celebrity trajectory from being sacked by Lord Sugar to being affianced to La Flack via CBB butt-waxing : how much higher can Andrew Brady fly?..
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...perhaps a magazine cover with his paramour? How about the August issue of Cosmo? Sorry Andrew, Caroline decided to go solo on this one.
cosmopolitanuk Instagram
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DON’T DISS DYER - ’Love Island bosses risk the fury of Danny Dyer over their "cruel" TV stunt which left his daughter Dani in tears’ (Daily Star)...
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...point taken, but Danny / Spidey can’t get to the villa to unleash his superpowers at the mo cos it’s raining
Danny Dyer Instagram
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‘IT’S PARADISE LUST’ - those of you who bunked off school won’t know that this is a clever reference by the Daily Star to ’Paradise Lost’, an epic poem by John Milton published in 1667. He foresaw events 350 years later. Don’t believe LoveIslander? Read on...
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