FLACK STYLE - Caroline Flack in Thailand training for Love Island 2019 with rigorous regime of night swimming and...
Caroline Flack Instagram
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WEGAN / WEVAN - Wes Nelson ’Dancing On Ice’ with Vanessa Bauer. Change ’g’ to ’v’ for a new couple name. LoveIslander no body language expert but is Vanessa’s left hand placement sending out strong message to Megan? Is Wes skating on thin ice?
Vanessa Bauer Instagram
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MEGAN TO VANESSA - msg deleted from Megan’s instagram : ’Love that you announce your break up on the night of your first performance with my boyfriend. You’ve never reached out to once or invited me to watch you train. It pained you to introduce yourself to me you didn’t even look me in the eye’
Megan Barton Hanson instagram
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...appeared on Brexit Blind Date with Lord Mayor of Sheffield Magid Magid BBC BBC having recently quit her role as a policy adviser in the civil service
BBC
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’WE’RE BACK’ - Love Island 2018 get together for Christmas Special : ’coming soon’ so prsmbly some time around Xmas and at this mansion rather than back on the island?
Caroline Flack Instagram
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SIDE PROJECT - ’It has been a barren run for sure...but I feel like my game’s in a good spot’. Dr Alex has been moonlighting as a pro golfer. Whilst appearing on Love Island he also managed four days at The Open as Justin Rose : ’A lot of people are fancying you this week’ - ’You’ve got to be a big boy...then it’s about finishing it off’
BeanymanNews
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COUPLE NAME - LoveIslander assumed that Alex + Alexandra couple name would be Alexandra but no! Alexandra came up with ’Al squared’. This girl is more than a match for the doc.
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MAKE ME JEALOUS - touch of the green-eyed monster (Shakespeare, Othello) when old Laura learnt that her new man, carpenter / model Paul Knops, snogged Britney Spears in the ’Make Me’ vid (at 3:42)
Britney Spears YouTube
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WOOD? - what did Britney and Paul discuss between takes? Could it have been wood (as in carpentry rather than porn)? Laura would like to know.
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LOVE ISLAND LEGEND - Laura (old) has a thing for Eamonn Holmes but his wife Ruth is jealous : ’I think it would be nice if you just maybe went in and just talked to Laura about why she keeps getting dumped’...’Yeah I could be like a father figure, an agony uncle in there’
This Morning YouTube
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REAL OR FAKE? - Samira spills the beans : ’Alex? He’s real...he’s mad...he’s just so funny’
ODE YouTuibe
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ON CRACK - ’Love Island is, it turns out, the entertainment equivalent of crack cocaine. To immerse yourself in such synapse-sucking froth is to cross a line that cannot be uncrossed. It requires commitment on an absurd scale – an hour or more, six nights a week – to keep up with the bed hopping, the tear-stained confessionals and the curious campfire coupling rituals. And yet I am deliciously, unapologetically hooked’ (Fiona Sturges, The Guardian)
The Guardian
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LONGEST IN SHOW - did LoveIslander’s ears deceive or did Alexandra say she’s ’discombobulated’? FFS girl this is Love Island and that’s 15 letters! Only Alex is likely to know what you mean. You had better hope he wants to recouple with you. Oh, he just has.
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GONE GIRL - Georgia ’Honest and Loyal’ Steel has left the villa...with her man Sam : ’I’ve got the girl’
Love Island YouTube
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…but Waura, A & E and Eymeg had already split unlike A-Z so Alex was now separated from Zara and the burgeoning Eyellie relationship was rent asunder leaving Adam, Alex, Laura and Ellie as singletons because Wes and Megan had already re-formed as Wegan whilst Jani, 2Sam and Jogia were unchanged...
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...now check out the thumbnail above which shows Adam comforting the soon-to-be-departed Zara and...
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...Dr ’Unlucky In Love’ Alex in the background scratching his head in disbelief as he realises that 1) against all the odds he’s still in the game 2) potty mouth Laura is his only option (because he has already split from Ellie - remember A & E?) but she will eat him alive 3) his couple name should be Alaura but Laura will insist on coming first so she’ll change it to LaurAl then drop the ’l’ to make LaurA
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4 LETTERS - Laura’s fave four-letter word is ’love’ but ’hell’, ’fury’ and ’rage’ could feature in her vocab now that she and Wes are ’over’: ’Hell hath no fury like a woman pied’ (William Congreve). Srry, pls delete ’pied’, should be ’scorned’...
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...add ’slag’ to the list, as well as the f-bomb as in ’You’ve done me a favour, now **** off’. Are we in the bunny boiler zone?
Love Island YouTube
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00ADAM - Adam ’**** That’ Collard has a favourite four-letter word as well and it’s...’Adam’.Egotistical, tall, dark and handsome with a licence to smirk and dubious attitude towards women, he’s perfect as the next Bond. Check out the casino scene (at 1:08) from Dr No. Agree with LoveIslander?
Dr No YouTube
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I HATE THAT – ‘smirking is just not good’ says wholesome Holly Willoughby…unless you’re Bond, that is
This Morning YouTube
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ADAM FOR BOND - ’Adam is oh-oh heaven’ : Heather J msg to Daily Star ’People might be calling adam in love island a snake but he’s a damn sexy snake. He would make a great james bond one day’
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BOND GIRLS - there are lots of Bond Girls but even more Adam Girls and one of them is rumoured to be making a personal appearance in the Love Island villa : check out ex Claudia Proctor in bikini with big bush
Claudia Proctor Instagram
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EXTRAS - exes arriving on LI said to include Kent girl Ellie Jones on mission to break up Jani amidst reports she had been dating Jack just days before he entered the villa : suhaxox msg ’I’m begging you don’t break up everyone’s favourite couple thanks’
Ellie Jones Instagram
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WHO’S THE DADDY? - Danny Dyer msg threatens to trash Jack’s gaff if he joins the ’Do Bits Society’ with daughter Dani Dyer : ’Bruce very quickly...lovely...beauuutiful...’
Danny Dyer Instagram
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GAME ON - Love Island is VOed (voiceovered, try to keep up) by Iain Stirling who has an evening job as host of CelebAbility : ’Do a group of 5 mates have what it takes to take on 5 celebrities in the ultimate battle of *ahem* "skills"? Iain Stirling presents the spanking new series of outrageous celebrity game show CelebAbility on ITV2’
ITV2 YouTube
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ONE LINERS - Iain ’One Line’ Stirling is a presenter and stand up comedian who studied law at University of Edinburgh so he should have spotted the grammatical error above : ’Do a group’ should be ’Does a group’ coz ’group’ is singular, innit? Enough Percy Pedanticism because...
This Morning
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