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...’why?’ you respond, innocently. Because, according to the reliable red top, ’Mum and daughter boast of an extremely close relationship - having bonded particularly well during a threesome...’ Not one of the fragrant Love Island girls, surely? Say it ain’t so, DM!
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RLLY? Jack WRSUP (word repetition syndrome under pressure - no, Loveislander has not ’just made that up’) getting worse! Remember ’oh my god’ four times in a row at Casa Amor? Under stress from Dani / Ellie convo he cranked up ’really’ repetition to six! Go to
0:54 in the vid to watch the current record again, and again, and etc etc...
Love Island YouTube
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SHOCK HORROR - Dani convo with Jack’s ex Ellie raises possibility that he may have been a ’f***boy’ prvsly. Dani at 0:54 ’was he a bit of a f**kboy to ya?’. Ellie ’he was he a bit of a f**kboy to be fair’
LoveIsland YouTube
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DANI PRVS - to be honest, Dani’s got a bit of previous when it comes to dealing with f***boys. Check her style in ’We Still Kill The Old Way’. A firm ’Get out!’ does the trick!
Daniel Winslow YouTube
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F***BOY? - LoveIslander suggests that those of a delicate disposition refer to Urban Dictionary. Jack’s damage limitation exercise starts now!
Urban Dictionary
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RSPCC - Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Celebrities investigating heartless treatment of Dani Dyer on Love Island
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FAN FURY - over 650 complaints to Ofcom re Love Island sadistic twist in which Dani Dyer was shown a misleading video of boyfriend Jack Fincham causing widespread fan fury...
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...but, as host Caroline Flack pointed out, the show is all about ’testing relationships’
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FLACK UTTERS - there was something about Harry (exes include H Styles and Prince H) but the future Mrs Brady knew ’he was the one’ from the minute he walked in for their first date. So who has set the Flack heart aflutter?
Caroline Flack Instagram
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SIX OF THE BEST - Andrew’s stamina lasted for six tasks on The Apprentice not counting having sex with fellow contestant / candidate Anisa Topan (ten years his senior and engaged to be married) in a blatant audition for Love Island. The non-smokeblower then ditched the clean-shaven geek disguise, got some designer stubble and moved on to...
E & A TV
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...Celebrity Big Brother for a bottom wax from drag queen Courtney Act, the eventual winner, before becoming the sixth evictee
Big Brother UK
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SACK TO FLACK - incredible celebrity trajectory from being sacked by Lord Sugar to being affianced to La Flack via CBB butt-waxing : how much higher can Andrew Brady fly?..
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...perhaps a magazine cover with his paramour? How about the August issue of Cosmo? Sorry Andrew, Caroline decided to go solo on this one.
cosmopolitanuk Instagram
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DON’T DISS DYER - ’Love Island bosses risk the fury of Danny Dyer over their "cruel" TV stunt which left his daughter Dani in tears’ (Daily Star)...
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...point taken, but Danny / Spidey can’t get to the villa to unleash his superpowers at the mo cos it’s raining
Danny Dyer Instagram
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‘IT’S PARADISE LUST’ - those of you who bunked off school won’t know that this is a clever reference by the Daily Star to ’Paradise Lost’, an epic poem by John Milton published in 1667. He foresaw events 350 years later. Don’t believe LoveIslander? Read on...
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...Paradise Lost is all about the Fall of Man, the temptation of Adam by the fallen angel Satan and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Basically, it’s a metaphor for Love Island as Fall of Man = all the boys, Adam = Adam obvs, fallen angel Satan = Megan and Garden of Eden = Love Island!
Love Island YouTube
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PARADISE LUST / LOST - Daily Star round up : ’Wes bedded Laura..then brazenly "cracked on" with Megan Parts-Out Hands-On. Sorry, Barton-Hanson...
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...Livid Laura branded smirking Megan "a slag" and "a stupid bitch"...
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...But the biggest loser is Adam whose king stud reputation is in tatters...
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...His new flame Zara got the tin tack. Dippy hippy Eyal went too...
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...The women decided to give peevish Dr Alex another chance. God knows why. Alex is living proof that on this show nice guys finish last...
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...Nice girls don’t fare much better but Dani Dyer is a sweetheart. Let’s hope her relationship with Jack survives the producers’ cynical deployment of his ex-girlfriend Ellie’
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BIT ADDICT - ’I’m a bit addicted to Love Island. It’s just such good, easy telly’ (Zoe Ball, Daily Star)
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DOING BITS - ’having sexual relations with somebody up until the point of sexual intercourse’, hence the Do Bits Society
UD Doing Bits
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SUPERFAN - Paris Hilton tweet ’Jack and Dani are goals’. Paris means that their relationship is something to be aspired to - no, LoveIslander did not ’just look it up on Urban Dictionary’
UD goals
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CW SAYS - ’Alex - a posh, ham-faced doctor - has an entitled shrill man-baby peevishnessthat not a single woman on the show fancies him and has basically scolded one woman for this, as if she has somehow abdicated her sexual duty...
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...Adam , meanwhile, is of such a cliched buff hotness that it’s oddly unpleasant to look at him - he looks as though he has weaponised every inch of his body to cause maximum emotional damage...
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PROBLEMS – new arrivals named Ellie, Jack and Alex could cause confusion : Stylista suggests use of OG (street slang, btw) meaning ‘original’ to distinguish incumbents from newbies
Urban Dictionary
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...Josh, who went with ’six absolute rockets!’ whilst...
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